Just remembered I had a Yelp account that I created to slam a shitty Thai restaurant near my apartment, but never posted my review, but it did save on my account and it started like this:
“Ordered the Pad Thai and it tasted like it was cooked on a wet dog’s salty anus. And the dog was a smoker. Who smoked with his anus. The resulting flatulence greatly displeased my lover.”
Some days I think Yelp is the last bastion for literature.