July 2011
21 posts
Dumping Ground
A new survey shows 93% people think Courtney Cox has aged well. What hasn’t aged well? The scent of John Candy’s corpse.
Dumping Ground
In an unlikely wacky road accident the other day, one high flying motorcyclist collided with a car and miraculously landed in the car’s back seat… The driver’s head has yet to be found.
Dumping Ground
In a recent interview Hulk Hogan claims Andre the Giant would frequently perform a move called “Checking the Oil” in which he would stick a finger up his opponent’s butt. While most wrestlers disapprove of this tactic, it’ was actually the only way to make The Iron Sheik cum.
Hogan went on to mention Andre was also a fan of performing other questionable maneuvers...
Dumping Ground
A former body guard of Britney Spears has recently gone public saying the pop star farted constantly. Britney tried to defend herself but reporters say they could not hear her answer over the sound of Joe McAdam masturbating.
Dumping Ground
In Midway Georgia, a trio of young girls had their lemonade stand shut down by the police because they did not have a permit. While the officer was filing this paper work, the three girls were kidnapped.
Dumping Ground
A 61 year old Diana Nyad is attempting to swim from Cuba to Florida. This is apparently news because she’s white.
Dumping Ground
A new spa has just opened in Spain that offers tickle treatments, I certainly was disappointed when I found out they didn’t mean testicle treatments. I sure could go for one of those testicle treatments.
Dumping Ground
Right here in Chicago a group of concerned citizens is organizing with the intention of having obese children being taken away from their families for health reasons. If you’re interested in this initiative, the group meets in a gingerbread house on the outskirts of the forest.
Winners and Losers Show →
Here’s a new episode of Winners and Losers that I’m on with Chicago comic Dan Friesen.
Dumping Ground
A new study compiled a list of the fastest growing cities in the US; number one on the list is Austin, Texas. Not making the cut this year: Diarrheasburg, Maryland. Diarrheasburg’s Mayor, Jesse Retarded, says he suspects the numbers are so low because he’s the only citizen.
Dumping Ground
A farmer recently created a corn maze that, when seen from a bird’s eye view, displays a portrait of Harry Potter. This is far more well received than his last publicity stunt, dressing up like Harry Potter and fucking his pigs.
Dumping Ground
This week Catherine Kieu Becker cut off her husband’s penis and destroyed it in a garbage disposal. Paramedics attempted to retrieve the remains from the sink to reattach it, but ended up with just a handful of penis-y coffee grounds.
A Pornography Convention →
Here’s a link to this porn convention I am going to this weekend. I hung out there last night and had a great time talking with some pleasant porn stars, being beaten by a dominatrix, interviewing porn lovers, and riding a giant penis shaped mechanical bull. I shot some video of it and will present it at an upcoming episode of The Late Live Show. I’m headed back later today for some...
Dumping Ground
The governor of Maine has signed a new law that legalizes switchblades for one armed citizens. He hopes this helps his reelection platform: “Make Maine look like a living nightmare.”
June 2011
13 posts
If I Had a Twitter Account
I’d post shit like this:
I’m glad I’m not one of those sex fetishist who needs to pop balloons to get off, that lives in the 1300s; because I bet inflatable goat bladders were expensive.
